Gauntlet III

Let's just jump right in...

Ev and Brooke are still going at it. Literally. and I quote: "if we had a kid together we would call it "brooke-lynn"." GROSS. You know what they say about seconds dates and getting out the turkey basters... can you IMAGINE how insane that child would be?

"I am NOT going to allow Evelyn to have unrealistic expectations about me"-- Brooke. Says the chick who wiped her vagina in front of her camping instructor, her RW cast, and the whole world.

Robin looks a lot better than she used to. well. challenge. remember when she used to bang Mark, the oldest cast member of all time?

Cha and I are sitting here wondering who this new fat guy with red face is. not ERIK who is also fat guy with red face. oh his name is Derek, fat guy with red face. Not Derek who kills you with bulldog wrestling moves.

CHALLENGE:
you WILL run in the ocean and soak up as much water as you can. Is this for real? That wasn't even TJ's fault, it just literally did not make any sense.

Here is the thing about Brooke and Johanna fighting. They both suck. balls. or vag.

Jillian. Again. Who are you? You are still bunk as hell, and WHO ARE YOU?
Also, TORI? Who?
This team is actually the biggest bunch of biatches. I don't think I like a single chick on that whole team. And I LOVE this shit.

Cha: So... once again we have left all of our challenge equipment at home. And we gotta play "what do we have sitting around in Mexico?" well. Linen. Ocean. Think we got some string...

And another Veteran win. TEAR OFF YOUR SHIRT!!

Is this Gauntlet an ad for skin cancer?
oh GOD SO MUCH SUNBURN. these poor white people.

Jillian: The veterans clearly are out to get me. Well Jillian, maybe it's cuz of your DYE JOB

Derek calls the veterans a bunch of meatheads. Glass house. Rocks. God.

Cha: Wow. Brooke got some therapy since RW. That is some conflict resolution right there. And Cha is an MSW so...

whoa. Rachel? Shouldn't you be in Iraq? Defending your country? Like a good fatty?

this Gauntlet requires a visual diagram. And is being played under a dinosaur. Um...

So apparently Brooke "doesn't like physical contact". Does that exclude rubbing your vagina up against gays?

Eveyln. Even in the confessional you look like ass. Perhaps there is a hair and makeup strike on the gauntlet?

Jillian wins. BLECH now they are gonna bone 4eva.

Awwwwwwwwww Brooke and Ev. Teary goodbye. REALLY tearful goodbye. Like shaking and moaning goodbye. this probably wont delay Evelyn's roid rage...

Brooke is so thankful for Ev's unconditional love. She really DID just love being around you Brooke. and YES you CAN find that with a man someday. gah.

AHHHHHHHHHH ROID RAGE TIME MEOW!!!!!! Evelyn WILL kill someone.

BIRTHDAY PARTY! You know what that means! Get drunk and bone!!
Evan: "Zach. This is a trendy club. And you can not come in here with your cabbage head."

Ew. Casey and Johnny. GROSS. I truly wish that Evan would narrate everything for me. Yes. Run into a closet. and then make out. naked. I guess this makes up for the emotional abuse Casey took from Wes over and over last challenge.

Tyrie leads with his HEART, people. and if his girlfriend needs HER heart to be operated on... he will be there. oh yes, he will.

Whoa. 2 challenges per hour? NIIIIIICE. Remember when it used to be half a challenge and half an hour a week?

Again with the visual aids TJ. And cool it with the "your guys". Your grammar is atrocious.

This challenge is weird and confusing and also boring. Fast forward.
Interesting. Rookies win. With the veterens having 3 players remaining. But don't the rookies have 4 less people?

Rookies. Please. DON'T take direction from Johanna. She is incredibly dumb. Look who she lives with. Seriously.

Is Frank wearing glasses? Is he a nerd?

Evan in the Gauntlet. He better not be sent home. Send in Johnny Bananas. He is annoying. But not Erik. I like Erik. He is my kind of fatty.

Johnny v. Evan.
Huh. this battle is starting before we even get in the Gauntlet. WHO CALLED ME OUT? WHO CALLED ME OUT? Johnny. shut up. It's a puzzle gauntlet. Well. this doesn't bode well. This is a chick challenge, man.

Nice! Evan! Wins! Hooray! and then they kiss. weird.

DID YOU FEED BABY CASEY TODAY?
Gah. She is awful.

Do the people on the challenges not realize that challenge relationships are NOT real relationships? Tyrie gets it. That guy gets it. wah wah bye Tyrie.

next week:
THROW THAT CHALLENGE! and a MYSTERY REPLACEMENT playa!