I Spy the Real World Brooklyn

And so it begins. Like a seven-man reality Surge, The Real World Cast has finally descended upon Brookhdad. While this newsflash is slightly overdue, we at The MTV Reality would be derelict in our duties if we did not supply a few tidbits of juicy info on the cast for those who were still caught unawares.

-The first two New York sightings have placed the cast walking in what appears to be dirty dirty Red Hook and scattering hipsters from the dance floor of a shit bar in Williamsburg.

-According to someone at said crap bar, one of the cast members is named Chet and is a Mormon.

-Then clearly titillated by this revelation, Chet’s two other male roommates tried unsuccessfully to woo a girl in the bar back to the Real World loft to deflower the (Brigham) young pup. Bro-fives all around.

So now that we have the facts, let the rampant speculation begin! We at The MTV Reality would like to proffer a few guesses to start:

-Our visual evidence shows only six cast members. Clearly cast member #7 has already been eaten by the newest staple in a Real World Cast, mentally unstable human being on roid and whiskey-fueled bender. Or he/she stopped to tie her shoe.

-Chet is most definitely gay. This also means he has girlfriend in Salt Lake City, with whom he has already pledged abstinence till marriage. We give him three weeks before he’s heading out to the Chelsea club district, promise ring on the night stand in Red Hook.

-The cast has already traversed a large section of Brooklyn in just two days, making landfall at Marquee in the city imminent. Hide your bottle service New York. It’s about to get messy.

-They will all be working as greeters at IKEA. In order to help them acclimate, we have dug up a swedish furniture name generator. Here are rudimentary and pertinent swedish words for their time in New York: BÅDDEGA, TÄXY, WHÖRE, ÄLKKÅÖLLIKK, DRUNNK TÄNK.

-And finally, here are the cast member names as best we can tell, judging by the back of their heads. From left to right-Reggie, Tag, Samantha, Chet, Sophia, Maureen, and Jesse (not pictured).