In Defense of The Hills

There's been a lot of bitching about the fake/real, real/fake events that constitute my favorite vice, The Hills. Yea, I get that having British TV air The Hills with a disclaimer stating "The following program may contain scenes that have been created purely for entertainment purposes.” may create issues for some fans, or more likely, provide ammo to critics, but come on people, let's be honest. We watch this schlock because WE LOVE IT.

REAL TALK
Real talk, people. The Hills is an incredible piece of art that we are privileged enough to have brought into our homes once a year, and sometimes we get lucky and there are bizarre mini seasons about Paris and other crap. So what if it's contrived, re-shot, fabricated at times. So are our lives.

PREMISE I: iPhoto
Before you get your panties all in a twist about The Hills' deceit, let's take a moment to own our own editing. There is a reason "retouch" is a feature on your iPhoto. Inherently, people look bunk sometimes, and you gotta do what you can to make things... less ugly. And who hasn't used crop. Excessively. No one wants to see their fat rolls up on the facebook, or exactly where that dude from the bar is groping you. We edit what we make public. And if your iPhoto had MTV's power to add multiple angle shots, flashing stars at key moments, and a somewhat ridiculous soundtrack, you would be all over that. You can lie to yourself, but don't you lie to me. Real talk.

PREMISE II: Your cell phone
Sometimes people "make bad choices". Or "wish they had a time machine". Clearly, the only way to address these concerns is to just pretend like the things you did never really happened in the first place. There is a reason your cell phone has an "Erase All" option in your sent messages box. It's way easier to delete your call log than it is to own the choices you made at 4 am mid-rage blackout. So before you go getting upset with The Hills for their editing and re-creations, think about how much recon you had to do to figure out what happened last weekend, and which parts you are already actively denying ever occured.

PREMISE III: DVR
You love DVR. It has literally changed your life. Maybe not for the better, but how else can you get to save episodes of "Family Matters", "My Life on the D-List", and "Roseanne" while watching Showgirls (on VH1) in real time. The point is, there is no way these DVR'd shows would at all be tolerable to watch without being able to fast-forward 8-12 minutes of commercials. And also the parts where the laugh tracks start to get a bit out of control. We self edit what we are willing to watch, even after we have searched the GUIDE function for the most obscure and necessary shows. And who doesn't live for the "30 second rewind" button? Think: if you could fast forward your life, chances are you would. Happily.


Yes, it's difficult to accept that aspects of The Hills are...less than accurate. Even Will Arnett took it hard. But I took it hard when I realized GOB wasn't a real person. We edit our lives, everyday, and what is more reflective of real life than reality tv? Answer: NOTHING.

Here's to a new season of The Hills and our coup here at TheMTVreality

CHEERS