you win some you lose some

i guess its going to be up and down this season, wavering between frighteningly boring and all-the-backstabbing-blowouts-in one or two episode-chunks. if at least they could have prefaced this season with some sort of warning to that effect, i could have watched the marathons on getbackinthenews's dvr and paddled on to the good stuff. it is what it is though. ain't that the truth. let's roll.

you always miss a best friend. is this even true? i'm not sure i miss my best friends from elementary school and i'm pretty sure some of mine from junior high are currently terrifying portraits of human beings.... or so i see from thefacebook. oh well, l.c needs her truisms to be true to wake up every morning.

i thought spencer kicked holly out. puzzling. no wonder she wants to hang out with lauren. if i were holly, i'd be hanging with the mafia at this point. i'd be on the corner of alvera street in downtown l.a asking if i could share someone's shopping cart and take a hit off their crackpipe.

the tension with audrina has magically disappeared. or was the page on the script merely just turned. i guess that's eternal question. oh wow, holly JUST texted heidi. right as whitney is there to ask all the oprah questions. how do you feel about this? sit back on my leather couch and tell me lauren because my life is too boring for the show. i will not get my own spin off. i will not get my own spin off.

audrina's boss calls a meeting with her. this is the first time in the entire course of the show that i have seen audrina do anything other than talk about justinihavehpvbobby/lo on work time or IM/talk on her cell phone about which bar to get railed on that night. i actually forgot where she worked or what she even did. as far as i'm concerned, she gets paid to talk to chiara. but now she has to run a VERY TIGHT SHIP.

oh lauren/oh holly/i miss you/you look so pretty/oh godyawwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

family is blood. you do not mess with that. YOU DO NOT. unless your last name is pratt. then: go.to.town.

some italian restaurant the producers are paying jb to take audrina to: you look pretty tonight audrina...uhhh line please?....oh right, so you look pretty...... i like that dress. audrina informs jb its a skirt. jb says "you could have fooled me" he is too busy wondering how long since he's been tested or showered. my guess is before the clinton administration. for both.

jb says audrina is "accepting", which is stonerspeak for i can walk all over you like aerosmith and you keep coming back for more. oh nevermind, justinbobby says their situation is wayyyyy different than hers and lo/lc's. uh, yeah, because you bone. and because unlike with the girls, she doesnt even attempt to get fakemad when you screw her over. buenos dias, rock bottom.

lc is not convincing at all in pretending she wants to see 'the white tie affair' showcase. OH MY GOD THEY ARE COINCIDENTLY PLAYING THEIR SINGLE AS THIS SCENE ROLLS. MTV, you epitomize subtle.

sometimes friendships are even harder than relationships....wow i gotta think about this one before i fully wrap my mind around it. give me a minute. i'll come back to this.

audrina is taking shots. i guess tequila is the key to running a tight ship. works for me.

this song is sort of making me want to chug cough syrup. "thanks for coming lo". my worst enemy is here but justinbobby has not even texted me back. ouch. that. has. got. to. hurt. more than last night for drina if you know what i mean.

holly/heidi showddddoooown. not really. they both make me want to pull my hair out and feed it to myself.

stephanie is talking to a member of the band who looks like he's a straight extra from planet of the apes. she secretly got her tongue pierced once: translation: you can pee in my mouth tonight drummer.

chiara needs a bang trim. or maybe just a bang. see, the things that i notice when the episode. BLOWS.

old plot lines with jb and audrina. to quote al gore, i love recycling but this is ridiculous.

stephanie, braids are not a good look for you. and the soap opera music has begun. we have split scenes of heidi and l.c discussing their friendship nostalgia. it's so unfortunate how things have ended. yes, yes it is. it is unfortunate you had to date satan and it is unfortunate that l.c told you about the sex tape she made with jwol and that you sold your soul to perez hilton for fake boobs. 'tis. sniff. sniff. maybe one day, by a miracle, they'll be friends again. you always do miss a best friend, according to l.c aka hemingway. we shall see. maybe the scene that had producers crying was not the one we have already seen. maybe there is hope for this show yet. or maybe, we have seriously plummeted.

next up: the h is o. we're back with brooke hogan's twin pouncing like a striped cheetah on doug and brody telling-all to L.C. thank god. this sounds like one to press stop on the dvr.

till next time.

signing off with my sarah palin generated name

fowl overtime.