Last Week: Some huge guy went home and Katie had a rage blackout
um. Brad? I could have gone with not seeing him this season. and not hearing him. his eyes are GINORMO jesus. Cha says he is the shade of burnt leather. i say that's better than lobster.
Melinda and Danny are fighting. Oh wah. How are they not married yet? there's been like 4 seasons of RW since them, and that episode where they get engaged on tv in central park was like 2 years ago...
Challenge: Sumo Wrestling with Pole
haha. can't throw the challenge, Kenny.
Frank and his hussy are fighting. Wow so many lovers quarrels! Being on TV is so hard and stressful.
Double Veteran Win. I am glad the guys couldn't figure out a way to throw this mission without it being totally obvious. need i mention that since the girls keep winning their heats... is it really necessary to throw missions to get rid of them?
Cha likes it when babycasey talks like she is smart and has a lot of strategery. I like it when Ev goes into roid rage.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAAH DANNY. your lady is going in. too bad there's no board to beat her in the face again. Yea, Casey. This ain't the love boat. hahhahaha Melinda is pissed. Looks like someone won't be getting laid tonight. but Melinda WILL back stab every single last one of you.
This is the GAUNTLET. it's not ABOUT fairness, dude i don't know. Jillian can go in again for the 4th time who cares. Send in her superbest friend Johanna that'll be hilarious. except. there's tori. weird. AND SHE REFUSES TO COMPETE. BECAUSE IT HAS GOTTEN TOO UGLY. hilarious. now danny and melinda can be 2gether 4eva. Except... wait. Brad convinces her to stay! Way to go Brad. Since Tori, you know, has it together upstairs, I am sure she will reign supreme. AND SHE DOES. hahhahaha
Danny has never been prouder of Melinda than he is at this moment. That makes me sad. For both of you. Let's all just know that there is no one that Melinda will be more happier spending the rest of her life with.
Looking at the rookies DISGUSTS Tori. I sort of wish we had gotten to see Melinda backstab them all. I am not really sure what that would look like but I bet it would have been blood and incredible.
oh Johanna vs. Danny. They both like getting black out drunk. and yelling. but he hits stuff more than she does. Danny---- whoa. did you just make a racial fueled insult? Wow. I would also be more happier spending my life with you.
Jillian and Tori. Who is more immature? Can't tell the difference, don't know who either of them are. But yes, let's go right now. but not in a brawl. in an extra gauntlet. go get TJ tell him to get the spinny wheel thing because it is ON biatch.
Challenge: Bury you alive and then you lose your shit
so... there are 14 veterans and 8 rookies. remember back in the day when they used to even things out? yea. not anymore. So weird. Turns out no one is really interested in getting buried alive and everyone has a horrific fear of dying underground. how strange.
this challenge is HILARIOUS. I can't even really comment because i am too busy laughing. laughing my sweet ass off. if the veterans can get everyone out before the rookies i will laugh even harder. oooohhhh and i'm laughing. so hard.
I wish Tonya has here. sigh. And why is Frank in booty shorts? and Frank v MJ? hahahhahaahhahahahha love it. Playing "Ankle Breaker". That sounds like... a great way to end up in hip replacement surgery. Or tear out your MCL. I wonder if they tested this on humans before putting it up on the spinny wheel. except. wait. what. frank won? how? Probably because grinding against the sand with that sunburn killed him.
Next Week: roll up in this blanket like a burrito and log roll in the sand. and fall off a ladder. wamp wamp.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Gauntlet III
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
MORE GAUNTLET III
two weeks worth let's go
Note: There is a strange amount of whispering going on. Since when does anyone on RR or RW know how to whisper? I actually think that when you sign the release forms to be on these shows you also sign away your ability to "filter verbal diarrhea" or "speak in indoor voice"
MJ is the Rookie replacement? Gross. He has so much hair. and is sunburned like a lobster. and is a BABY DADDY? jesus. this is what happens post RW, people.
PUSH IT (real good)
I love challenges that involve people moving impossibly heavy objects. like tanks. or beth.
Melinda's balls are going to the wall. That is a traumatic mental image.
And MJ is going to give himself a ginormo hernia. have fun with that, dude.
Isn't it funny how stupid white people look when they get sunburned?
Evan is my boyfriend because he is beautiful and also full of smarts. which is weird because he is a Canadian hockey player, but i am not gonna ask questions.
Oh god. Melinda got whacked in the head with a board. Danny will DESTROY that board. and then the board will probably punch him in the face and break his eye.
I still... don't really understand this whole gauntlet picking process. remember back in the day when losers were determined by performance?
Poor Jillian. Frank loves boning her. So much. Lord. Back to the Gauntlet, Jillian. Best of luck to you. ooooooh bye Janelle.
Well Rookies. You are down a million. If I liked you guys I would probably feel some sort of emotion right now.
Challenge: "Jump off the plank into the water"
AAAAAAAAAAHAHHAAHAH remember that time Casey freaked the F out in fresh meat? Did you feed baby casey today? did you? Coral... might actually destroy her.
This challenge is funny. and looks like it hurts a lot on your sunburn, ladies.
Ugh, Kenny shut up you are awful. And Erik is a giant.
And Veterans win again. HOORAY!!!
Frank and Zach in the Gauntlet. Who is Zach? Where did he come from? Have we ever seen him before? OHHHHHHH he was the cauliflower head wasn't he. That scalp looks really burned, buddy. I think my favorite part of this is how Frank illustrates Jillian's claims of how "intelligent" he is by wearing his glasses for this Gauntlet. Farewell Zach.
And again with the whispering, gentlemen. I love you Evan but Kenny is... intolerable. Destroy him and keep Coral. Please. PLEASE. oh throwing missions is awesome.
AND ANOTHER ONE!!!
Imagine, if you will, the final group if Evan is left to his own devices.
CT (destroys stuff)
Danny (destroys others and himself)
Evan (i love him, so no smack talk here)
Kenny (UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHH)
Brad (why I left Boston)
Wow. Katie. Love it. Let out that rage. LET IT OUT BABY.
Challenge: Some Mayan Replica Shit
So here's the thing. The Mayans were super smart. these chumps, not so much. God i want pizza.
Whoa. MJ's face. is so red. this is. yow. It's like MTV only bought them booze and no sunscreen.
Rookies win. But the Veterans planned that. So. I guess the Veterans actually win again.
CORAL in the Gauntlet? I hate you guys. And... she will actually eat your head off, Kenny. And then feed you to Baby Casey. If Coral loses this, I will cry. cry cry cry. Oh good. Bye Beth. It had to happen.
Blech. Paula. Who would want to make out with her? SEE I AM AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY HATER. it's about people being gross as individuals, not about their sexuality. It's about how bunk you are in the face, mostly. And if you wipe your vagina on national television or cry about your eating disorder and go crazy town and look like Tonya Harding.
Challenge: Bootleg version of that swinging pendulum thing from American Gladiators
Oh Kenny and Evan. This is what happens when you talk smack and throw missions. you fail. and then you fall.
wahwah I am getting bored. some dudes I don't really recognize are gonna play sliders. Sweet. Ok some big guy that makes out with Paula is going home. UGH. so sunburned. all of you.
NEXT WEEK (tomorrow):
you guys get buried alive. and cat fight. GO!
