Opening Thoughts: This cast and this season are bent on making Real World history. Last week, we found out about the Production Office inside the house and this week the producers invoke some clause where-by you can be kicked off the show if you "don't do your job." Weeks ago we joked about how this season they didn't even have a job in a traditional sense (i.e. helping someone with a business) but rather were exploring their own personal growth (i.e. bombing on stage in front of professional comics). But apparently, "not going to improv class" can get you kicked off the show. This makes about as much sense as National Treasure 2.
Kim: It's funny how you basically can't get face-time on this season unless you're saying something profoundly racist or emotionally destructive. Kim, you were completely shut out last night. I have nothing to tell you. Oh, and how's that career as an entertainment reporter going? Really? I bet.
Sarah: Alright, the good girl thing was wearing a LITTLE thin. But I will say this: you are the only person who gives half a damn about Joey's recovery. In fact, I think you're almost a little attracted to him. Did you think we didn't see how some sexual tension started to develop between you and Joe? First it's a hug. Then, oh gosh, we're alone in the car? And then it's a kiss on the cheek and Joey is telling you "I know I'm not supposed to do that." But it's ok. Because he's an alcoholic. So he NEEDS you. Which means. Joey is now the surprising dark horse to help you cheat on Ryan (who, might I add, provided a classic 10-year old voice on the phone).
Bri: Moment of the night: "Yeah and he didn't even want to press charges!" When you are uttering the previous phrase, it should be a wake-up call.
Dave: Let's face it. You don't like Joey. You like drinking Dave. You like kissing dumpy girls. You like a lot of things but, for all your talk, you don't really like Joey. Let's just call it what it is. He almost tried to kill you and other people in the house. I don't blame you. But don't pretend you like him. You. are. not. boys.
Greg: You made Real World history, my friend. You didn't show up to improv three times and you got kicked off the show. Given that Joey and Will have done thousands of dollars of damage to the house and both have threatened other castmates and thrown shit around and been, pretty much, a pubic menace - it's just a little hard to believe that you would get canned for ... attendance. Real World casts have worked at an Arena Football team, a tanning salon, and last year Kelly Ann got hammered on an adult vacation tour she was leading when "drinking was NOT ALLOWED." But we laughed when people didn't take those things seriously. Because. We didn't think anything was on the line. I guess we're living in a different world now. The Real World "job" is now life-and-death. Thanks for the memories.
Will: You met Janelle from Real World Key West. This is also the first time in Real World history that a cast member from a previous season has appeared on a current season. I guess it's sort of predictable given that we are in Hollywood. But, let's not pretend Janelle has "all these industry contacts." Janelle is washed up at 25. Janelle was the ugly, loud, friend-of-Tyler on the Key West season. Frankly, it's amazing she didn't get killed in one of those hurricanes. Janelle was certainly never cute. Not even a little. Also, Zach from Real World Key West makes an appearance and looks way less stoned than he did on his season. He actually looked coherent. There is a God?
Joey: This was your second-to-last episode. You're back in the grind and the roommates are drinking. It's not their fault and it's not yours. But you need to go home or you need to start drinking again. We all want the best for you but this season is going to get REAL boring REAL fast if every episode has you complaining about how "no one cares" while the roommates tip bottles to the sky and shotgun beers. Great work trying to make a play for Sarah though. I did NOT see that coming. Underrated moment: you come back from rehab, go into your room and say "Great to have a bed again." Did they make you sleep on the floor at Dr. Drew's? Was this like an Outward Bound thing? Also, when you said you "smelled alcohol in the air" and seeing "that glass of ice" - I guess we can only file your addiction under "down but not out." Your alcoholism is like the Terminator. You're going to have to leave the show. But those facial and neck-ticks. They can stay because that. is. terrifying.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Real World Hollywood :: Episode Eight (So it's cool if we just ...)
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