This show. Is. Ridiculous.
PLEASE can we talk about this?
Based on the 6 minutes I have gotten through so far, I think this is what happens on From G's to Gents.
Puff Daddy's former chaueffer bosses around guys from the hood who are desperate to make $100 grand for acting well behaved on national television. These alleged "gangsters" battle to become true gentlemen, avoiding the traps set for them by MTV and struggle to overcome the economic and social disadvantages of their lives thus far. Because MTV told them to.
Is it just me, or does something about this just seem.... horribly wrong?
Where Mo' At, Yo?
Now 13 minutes in, I think From G's to Gents is supposed to be the male answer to Charm School. Holla! Charm School was my JAM. But 80% of that was straight up Mo'nique. MO!!! HEEEEEY!!!!
What are you, frontin?
I will admit, I just read ALL of these cast bios. It took me 7 minutes, now 21 minutes into this episode. Due to the rampant overuse of the term "hustling" and the lack of specific gang affiliations, combined with the fact that I see no one flagging blood or crip on my DVR, I am really having a hard time believing the premise of this show. I want... to see some gang graffiti. I want... a crip walk battle. I want... at least one cast member shanked by the next commercial break.
Tell me, what have I missed this season?
Since all of these chumps have ridiculous names, like on I LOVE NEW YORK and FLAVOR OF LOVE, I can only dream about the sequence of events that lead to their tv names. Yes, I am hoping that at least some of these dudes, like E6, The Truth, and D-Boy, aren't using the names on their birth certificates, but now that I just wrote all of this out... maybe there was no ridiculous naming ceremony. Maybe it was just like "Hey, I'm Fonzworth Bentley and I am totally absurd. I made up MY name so why don't you guys just go ahead and make up YOUR names. Everybody know how to find their stripper name? Take your mother's maiden name..."
Ok. 40 minutes in. Not a single person has been stabbed, and truthfully, I am bored. B-O-R-E-D. They are arguing about why you should spit on someone's bed, and why tattling, and lying about it later are also wrong. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH someone please get naked and start a bar fight. For the love of reality television!
Is this...how we settle our beefs on the street?
Um. What? This elimination... is sort of like... group therapy? You get a chance to put black balls in other people's ant farm looking holders... and then Fonzworth Bentley makes you talk it out? I... huh.
The truly confusing part about this show is that apparently some of these contestants aren't hot enough messes to stay. Dear MTV. Is not "needing" this competition as much as other thugs really grounds for elimination? Is that not what casting, and the subsequent casting specials, are for?
Show Stats
Drive By Shootings: 0
Cosby Sweaters on Fonzworth Bentley: 3
Minutes getbackinthenews was entertained: 0
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Can We Talk About 'From G's to Gents'?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
EXILED: Amanda
EXILED
the premise of this show... is confusing. Initially I thought it was like a crazy reality revisit-- taking former Sweet 16ers and putting them in uncomfortable situations and laughing as we watch them pull a mariah carey.
but apparently I was wrong. Exiled appears to be a means of "intervention". for what? addiction to brattiness? entitlement disorder?
who remembers Amanda? I don't recall the details of her episode but I DO remember that spiral perm. GAH.
So for a week Amanda will live like the Masai. DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THIS SCENERIO?
Let's say that your dad decides to send you to Africa tomorrow because you're a bitch. Are your primary concerns really about where you can shower and plug in your hairdrier? I might be a bit more nervous about what happens since you didn't get any vaccines. Just saying.
Welcome Home
This is your house. Made of cow dung. I mean, this really makes you think you must be an asshole, eh, Amanda? I think it's a very impressive piece of architecture. And guess what, Mandy?! You get to try your own hand at making cow poo house. AWESOME! She must have been an incredible downer off camera. Honestly, if everyone had just stood in a crowd and pointed and laughed at her I bet she would have tried it because of, you know, the peer pressure. What a turd. Josephine really puts it lightly when she says Amanda is disrespectful to her community and to Africa. I wouldn't take this
"That smells like frickin butt"
I wish someone had given Amanda "don't be an asshole" lessons before they sent her to Africa. And also that they hadn't given her a Sat phone. whoa. WHOA. did Amanda just say that this "takes a lot of courage".
I think also we should start blogging BUSTED.
We have so much in common
Like Beyonce. And gossip. And boys. Sweet god. I will show you the beauty and surperiority of America by giving you a trucker hat to wear and explaining the concept of "modeling". I WANT to believe she gets it. and is a better person now. but. methinks probably not.
"It kinda like woke me up"
Wow. Amanda is a decent human. With perspective. And a new found appreciation for her life. But has she changed? Because I don't want to punish you, I will check the mtv webpage on your behalf. She now:
Feeds the dog!
Cleans her dishes!
Sweeps!
Goes to Community College! Where she wants to do good!
Works at a tanning salon!
that. is. incredible.
Exiled, I am not sure how I feel about you. But I do know that I can't wait to see Sierra, Cee-lo's daugher, who I am sure has become totally out of control since the release of "Crazy". Christ.
Real Talk: I'm Going to Write You A Letter
Dear Lo,
you've taken a page from laguna bitch and i think this is a good look for you. why stop at "everyone that matters is getting along" and take that frosty attitude for a real spin. let's see what else you can do. i'm replacing your aa batteries. dance, monkey, dance.
ps. i don't care if it costs more than brody's condo, that silver tin-foil you wrapped around your body and paraded around in as a dress resembled something i ordered at chipotle. see, this episode has me talking about clothes.
Dear Audrina,
your blank stares that you hold for ten counts so MTV can give us the chance to hear the latest angsty single are getting old. either move out and make a statement, make some babies with justinbobby, or grab lo by her hair and toss her above your head like a lasso. something so it's not in my brain who sang what.
Dear Spencer,
wow. you actually compared L.C and your feud to iran and israel. that caught me off guard because up until this point, i wasn't sure you knew where you were on the world map. i don't think your sister understood it and if you ever actually repeated that to your fiancee, you'd probably have to start with how the universe began, but.....hmmm. i don't know if it QUITE holds up because you and L.C were never really alliances at any point, but if you are implying that you now don't recognize her as a country, i'll give it to you. i will.
p.s your freakouts with your sister are starting to get weird. either you have a thing for her or she's not really your sister, but you care entirely way too much, which actually shouldn't surprise me because you are a circus sized freakshow.
p.p.s how much is don antonios paying you? just curious.
Dear Heidi,
smile, nod and stare off into space longer so we can have a better good look at your facial reconstructive surgery.... it's close to midnight, and something evil's lurking in the dark/under the mooooonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart/you try to screeeeeam but terror takes the sound before you make it/you start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes/you're paralyzeeeeeed
p.s cause this is thrilleeeeeeeeeeeer, thriller night
Dear Doug,
......why am i writing you again?............wow this was a waste of a stamp. um, so..... you must be as good as crack in bed because otherwise, i don't know what to say. you bring about as much to the table as the irish potato famine.
Dear Brody/Whitney,
Why haven't you two hooked up?
Dear L.C,
i have nothing to say to you really, which must mean you've been normal. this is not good. I realize you are the narrator, but you must get hurt otherwise we cannot relate. we will change the channel and the olympics are over, damnit.
Dear Stephanie,
you are kind of a rich man's Brooke Hogan. you kind of freak me out. i won't lie to you. i also don't understand how you and L.C are still in the same class. HOW LONG IS THE HISTORY OF PODKA DOTS? it has now spanned about two seasons. bradismyhomeboy, you are gonna finish school faster than these ladies.
Dear Jason,
i just can't quit you. how much will it take to get you back on my television.
p.s whiskey?
Dear Joey,
i'll give you all the money in my savings account and then some if you bring some zinfindel over to the girl's casa and see what happens. oops, wrong show. oops, don't care.
RealesTalk.
