im late like bristol palin so lets dive right in...
this episode was good, but strange. i don't know if anyone else felt this way, but it seemed a little off-kilter. there was drama, however, so I will not complain. dear the hills, please don't get boring again. i will keep my mouth. shut. promise.
ok. so i was a little confused exactly where L.C was going. maybe she had an italian photo shot, aka part of her "other" famous life which she can't mention on the show. oh the complexities of being a reality show star. audrina and lo will have fun...hahahahaha. they looked about as excited as someone skinny dipping with sharks.
byeeee lauren......let the backstabbing begin.
staringatheblankpagebeforeyou...when the economy is in the pits, its amazing, this song can still get you going....speakthewordsonyourlips
the rest is still unwritten...oooohhhhhh ohhhhh
and we're back: cheeto girl is outside their crib. alone. puzzling. we have never seen her sans lauren or without engaging in inappropriate conversations with her own brother. tell me, stephanie, for you have most clearly sinned. sidenote: are they contractually obligated to tell each other they look cute EVERY time they see each other? from where i'm standing, which is infront of my macbook pro, stephanie looks like frankenstein painted the color of candy corn
brooke hogan deuce spills that duggie asked her out. audrina dispenses some biotch-you-best-not-or-you-be-killed advice to which stephanie responds with possibly the dumbest line yet (yes, eclipsing the hamster and guinea pig are the same animal remark): how would she find out? um, let's see here. you just told her best friend/roommate in her place of residence and there's also the little matter of EVERYTHING YOU DO THAT IS SOMEWHAT ENTERTAINING (which has been really nothing yet) IS FILMED.
heidi's work event: i'm gonna bring spencer i think....woah, heidi...you really really are ahead of the curve on that one. spencer? as in, the only person besides your couch and your sister that we see you talk to? really? i never would have thought. sigh. you also are starting to resemble an actual barbie doll. no, like a tiny little made-in-china barbie with pastel makeup, seven inches tall.
why is everyone wearing sunglasses when its overcast? why do i even bother asking these questions?
in the biggest coincidence since mccain picking a women, lo, audrina, spencer and heidi alllll end up at the same club. shockkkkkaaaa. heidi's voice sounds like a hamster dying. but they are all grownups now. which means, we can throw back buttery nipples with the best of 'em and wax poetic about who talked about whose sex tape first.
i almost almost almost almost almost do not hate spencer in this episode. because stephanie actually appears more pathetic in the pratt vs. pratt.
check it. yes i do. he just said that the latest batman should have just been called joker. are these the things that actually make camera time? I WANT TO SEE STEPHANIE MOUNT DUG.
YES, cut to the scene we watched this episode for: the man date between duggie and steph.
their entire date consists of did you tell brody/l.c about dinner. DID YOU? wow, this is fascinating. is it weird you railed--i mean dated lauren? what are you doing after? doug asks. wellll doug before her next spray on tan she has some time for a quick bj in the parking lot. maybe brody's mom can watch. yes, she is there. though "mom" is a bit of a stretch. plastic lump that was left out in the sun more accurately describes this women that allegedly birthed brody jenner.
doug looks about as comfortable as a man can be in a low cut v neck. cut to commercial. good thing. i am about to. lose. my. dinner.
once again chiara is present for the sole purpose of making audrina not look completely braindead. THIS IS SO CRAZY that all this is happening while L.C is gone...and by gone we mean locked in MTV's headquarters.
oh wait, she is back. that was, um, suspiciously fast. but, l.c tells us italy = a construction site. by that logic, i think stephanie = a dumpster.
what did i miss girls? um, well, your best friend hung out with your worst enemy and your new best friend fucked the last guy you dated. surrrrpriseeeeeeeeeeeeee. break out the pinata.
back to our regularly scheduled brody-l.c paidbymtv dinner dates. let's see what brody has in store for you oh trustworthy one. italy was fun...yeah thats nice, stephanie went out with doug. she straight went behind your back. zinger. i think the best part about that story is that a)brody actually called that woman mom.
cheetogirl is shady. and now l.c knows. i've known since episode 1 when they showed us the season preview, aka the reason i've continued watching even though there were times that doing laundry seemed more enticing.
next up: duggie screws over stephanie in a classic case of am i gonna turn orange because i touched orange? all is ugly that ends ugly.
